I was having a conversation a few days ago with some great men that I serve alongside in our church's mens ministry. We got into a bit of a debate about service versus sacrifice and sacrificing in order serve. I brought up an unfortunate but true point - the biggest sacrifice for many of us men is to give up our own agenda to be home with our families.
Many of us men get so caught up in doing and accomplishing for work, for our ministry, and for our communities that our families get left in the dust. I think one of the most important things that I can do as a man serving in a mens ministry is to serve my wife and family well. God calls me as a husband to "love my wife as Christ loved the church...." Personally, I take that command very seriously.
I'm not saying that achieving is wrong or even sinful; I am saying, that if you get things out of order, you will have to pay the consequences. God, wife, kids, and work, in my opinion, is the best order. I also believe that wife, kids and work can and will sometimes shift in order for us to best honor God, but God should always be first. Work will sometimes have to take precedence over your wife and kids because you are their provider. Sometimes the kids may have to come before your wife; however, if you and your wife are on the same page, she'll probably be supportive of that. The thing to remember is that these shifts in order should only be for a season of time and things should get back into their proper order.
If you're in your second year of a shift in that order, you might need to re-evaluate some things. I lived a life where the kids became the priority and that ended in divorce. If you've read any of my previous blog posts, you know that there was more that contributed to my divorce than the kids, but the kids became our excuse for not spending any time alone together. When we quit working on our relationship with one another, we eventually got to a place where there was no relationship outside of our kids. Obviously, that's not a good place to be.
I would say that those shifts in order shouldn't last more than a few months, and even then you should have days when you put them back in proper order, even if it is only for a day or two. If you do that, then you will be spending the vast majority of your time keeping things in order as God intended them to be.
I hope this makes some sense to you. Take it from me - I've screwed it up and paid the price. I've learned from my mistakes and I'd like you to do the same (learn from my mistakes, that is). Don't feel like you have to make all the same mistakes yourself.
Enjoy the ride!!
Scott
Let Me Explain
2 years ago
