10 ways to show your wife you love her - #6

# 6 - Seek her counsel

When God created woman He created her as a "suitable helper." (Genesis 2:20) Doesn't it just make sense that you should seek her counsel.

Sure, you can hit me with all of the scripture about the man being the head of his house and all that stuff ,but let's back it up a bit. He also tells us that the "two shall become one." You can try to take God's Word out of context all you want - if you're married, she's should be part of the decision making process.

We can't forget, guys, she'll add the feelings to your decisions. We think without the feelings, and sometimes that's the way it needs to be, but her counsel will help you make better, more well thought out, decisions.

Keep her in the loop. It will confirm to her that you love her and trust her.

Enjoy the ride.

10 ways to show your wife you love her - #7

#7 - Date her!

I know, I know! It's a novel idea. The whole dating thing was supposed to end when you got married, right?? Wrong! You should continue to pursue your wife. The guy she fell in love with is the one that pursued her.

Guys, we have this mentality that once we have something we no longer need to work on it, or in the case of marriage, for it. If you're a car guy and you finally get that car of your dreams (that would be a '67 Shelby Mustang 500 in case anyone wants to give me one) you would take care of it wouldn't you?? Of course you would! So why don't we work harder to take care of our marriages. You'll get out of it what you put into it. I promise you'll gain much more from a happy and content wife than you will from any car, I don't car what it is or how much it's worth.

Enjoy the ride.

10 ways to show your wife you love her - #8

# 8 - Write her a love letter!

Come on guys; it's not that difficult. Get some paper and write some stuff down. If your struggling, just start with the things that she does that make you happy. Does she keep the house clean, is she a good Mom, a good cook, is she good in the bedroom (yep, I said it and I don't mean does she keep the bed made), does she love the Lord? Those are just a few good ways to get started.

Of course, I hope you're telling her all of these things from time to time. If you take the time to write it all down, I think that she'll appreciate that you spent that time thinking of her. If she's anything like my wife, she'll keep the letter.

Have fun with this one. You should enjoy writing it and I'm sure that she'll enjoy reading it. Remember, women like this touchy feely stuff. To show her that you love her, you need to be in tune with that.

Enjoy the ride.

10 ways to show your wife you love her - # 9

#9 - Listen to her!

This might mean turning off the TV for a few minutes. ***TIVO is an awesome tool - figure out how it works and you won't miss a minute of your game, hunting show, HSN, or whatever show you're into.

Notice guys!! I said turn the TV off! Don't mute it or pause it - the bright light will draw you back in. Turn it off. A few minutes of your attention could be priceless to your wife.

BTW... you listen with your mouth shut! This is not a time to try to fix "all that ails" her. Nod your head and try to empathize (look it up) with her. If she wants your opinion on anything I promise you, she'll ask.

Give it a shot and...

Enjoy the ride!

10 ways to show your wife that you love her - #10

Before I get to the countdown of 10 ways to show your wife that you love her, let me give you a little background on where this is coming from.

God has been working on my heart, since my divorce, and has given me a ministry from that pain. That ministry is this - I guess you could call it my mission statement: To increase the percentage of lasting, happy marriages by mentoring dating and engaged couples and also, by mentoring married couples struggling in their relationships.

I decided to word it that way for the positive language. I didn't want to say, "decrease the divorce rate," because of the negative words even though the message is still positive.

So there you go. That's the mission statement for the ministry that God has given me and I wanted to start incorporating a little more of that into the blog.

With that said, here is #10 in the countdown of ways to show your wife that you love her:

# 10 - Tell her!!

What could be easier than that? If you're not "feeling" it, but you want your marriage to work, then say it anyway. I'm not one that subscribes to the idea that you always have to "feel" in love. Feelings come and go and, by the way, love is not a feeling - it's a decision. I promise, no matter how in love you "feel," at some point that feeling will go away. According to The Five Love Languages it will last about 2 years. At that point, you have to decide to stay in love. So, tell her.

If you do this I'll bet that the feeling of being in love will be more common than not having that feeling. We all like the "tingles" of being in love and this will help.

Stay tuned for the rest of the countdown. #1 will probably surprise you.

Enjoy the ride!

You still have your salvation!

I was listening to Pastor Mark Driscoll the other day and he was teaching from 1 Peter 1:3-9 which state: All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

Many of us have heard the scripture from James 1:2-3 that says: Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. Pastor Mark uses the scripture from 1 Peter to really drive home the point that we usually take from this scripture in James; regardless of your circumstances you should rejoice.

You lost your wife?? Rejoice! You lost a child? Rejoice! You lost your job, health, dog, parent's, etc...? So what, you should rejoice!!

I'm sure, at this point, you're wondering why anyone would rejoice in these circumstances. The answer is at the end of the passage from 1 Peter; your reward is your salvation. You should always rejoice because you can't lose your salvation. He has saved us.

Sure there are tough times ahead. No one ever said that being a Christian would be easy but, at least, we know our reward! When it comes right down to it what else is there.

I don't want this to diminish our grieving process as humans. We will have hard times, but if we turn to God's Word He shows us what is really important and we should rejoice. Jesus didn't die in vain - He conquered death, rose from the grave and saved us from our sins. Rejoice! Today is the day that the Lord has made!!

Enjoy the ride.

What do people say about you??

Check out the video on this blog.

In my blog post from 1/21, I wrote about the fact that people are always watching us. That video just proves my point.

I'm curious what you think about this. I've heard it said, in the past, that we might be better off calling ourselves "followers of Christ" rather than Christians because the word Christian has such a negative connotation (sorry for the big word) these days. That's all fine and good; we could do that. Maybe, though, it would be better to help people redefine their idea of Christianity by living lives that give Christianity a positive example.

Let's not rename ourselves, let's redefine ourselves. Let's live lives that honor Christ and proudly call ourselves Christians.

Enjoy the ride.

Encouragement & Accountability

Below is an e-mail that I sent to the members of my men's group this morning. We meet every Thursday morning at 6a.m. (Yes, we do that willingly - a good breakfast menu helps.)

Hey guys,

I just wanted to share a thought with all of you.

We talk often about offering encouragement, support and accountability to one another. That's one of the biggest purposes of our group. Here's my thought: encouragement and support are something that we should share and offer to one another, accountability is something we ask for.

On that note, I want to encourage you all to share your blessings, failures, victories, etc... with the group by e-mailing us. We can encourage each other by sharing how God is working in each of our lives and there is no need to wait until next Thursday.

As far as accountability goes - you just need to ask. We've offered it to one another but real accountability comes when you humble yourself enough to ask someone to speak truthfully to whatever it is that you're struggling with. I promise you that you won't regret reaching out to another brother. We've all been there and we all have our own struggles and we all need accountability in our lives. Lust, pride, greed, arrogance, are just a few examples. If you want accountability - ask.

I hope this encourages each of you.

God bless,

Scott

Enjoy the ride....

What if this was you??

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT)

We've all heard this following scripture before, but what if it was describing you? That would put a whole new spin on it. Check this out - replace the word "love" and "it(s)" with your name and appropriate personal pronoun (he/she, his/hers.) I'll use my name as the example:

Scott is patient and kind. Scott is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. He does not demand his own way. He is not irritable, and he keeps no record of being wronged. Scott does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Scott never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (Modified from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Wouldn't it be great if that scripture described us? Good news! It can. Sure we'll fail many times, but it does provide a great example of how to live.

Put your name in there and then, to the best of your ability, become that person. It'll be worth it - for you and for your family.

Enjoy the ride.